


Unrequited Love

by herwhiteknight



Series: 365 Days of Sarah/Cosima [2]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Mild Smut, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herwhiteknight/pseuds/herwhiteknight
Summary: Cosima wishes that Sarah would get out of her head. Especially her dreams.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of 365
> 
> Prompt: Unrequited Love (Part 1: from Cosima's POV)

Cal was invited over for clone family game night the second that he was inducted into The Club. “He's Kira's father, Cos,” Sarah had explained her reasoning after she had hung up the phone with the lumberjack. “He deserves to be there. Kira should get to know him.”

“But Sarah-”

“You don't need to worry, Cos!” Sarah said with a laugh, tucking her phone back into her jean pocket and drawing closer to Cosima. “He is _so_ not my type anymore.”

“Oh?” Cosima grinned coyly, sliding her hands up Sarah's shoulders and linking her fingers around her neck. “So just exactly _who_ is your type now?”

“Mm,” Sarah hummed, her lips so very close to Cosima's. “You wanna come find out?”

“How much time do we have?” Cosima said, her breath hitching at Sarah's fingers brushing against the small of her back.

“Alison's probably gonna be her usual thirty minutes early, so... maybe about fifteen?” Sarah muttered, more preoccupied with kissing Cosima's neck than calculating minutes.

“Is that enough time?”

“You tell me,” Sarah smirked, slipping a hand down Cosima's panties, immediately and skillfully curling her fingers.

 

“Cherie...,” a hand shook her shoulder, pulling her out of her erotic dream. “Cosima? Cosima, wake up please?”

“Huhm, mm, Sa... I-” Cosima murmured blurrily, opening her eyes and catching sight of a mass of dirty blonde curls. “Uh, shit, um.. Delphine. Something wrong?”

“You were seeming to have a nightmare,” Delphine said carefully, her eyes flashing strangely.

Heat shot right down to Cosima's core as the feeling of Sarah's fingers inside her came back into her mind. “N-nightmare. R-right, uh, yeah, a.. a nightmare.”

“Was Sarah in danger too?” Delphine said coldly as she threw the twisted sheets off of her body and rose from the bed.

“Uh.. Sarah?” Cosima tried to hide her gulp. Thankfully, Delphine was turned around, pulling on the pyjamas that she had shed last night in their haste to get to bed.

Turning around, Delphine dropped all pretenses and folded her arms. “If what we have isn't enough for you anymore, Cosima, that you seem to get more enjoyment from your dreams of _Sarah_ than from reality with me, then-”

Cosima knew she was caught, but she still blustered, “Delphine, I have no idea – Sarah and I aren't, you know, she's got Cal! Like, and even if that wasn't true, what you're talking about, it's totally insane-”

“I woke up last night during your _nightmare,_ Cosima,” Delphine said slowly, “You were.. riding my thigh. And moaning Sarah's name.”

Cosima gave in. “Okay. Okay Delphine, I... I'm sorry. Believe me, I wish I.. I wish I didn't, you know?” she said quietly, sitting up slowly, dropping her hands into the twisted sheets that covered her intimacy. Cosima's defeated tone caused Delphine to drop her arms, a strangely wounded expression crossing her face. “I wish I could just... not _feel_ and _think_ about her the way I do, you know? Because.. because you're.. _you,_ Delphine, you're the one that's perfect for me. You really are. And I love you. But.. I love Sarah too.”

Almost unwillingly, it seemed, Delphine sunk back down onto the edge of the bed next to Cosima. Took a hand within hers, squeezing lightly, and glanced up from under her lashes at Cosima. “Cherie...,” she murmured softly, “Does Sarah know? Has she suspected anything at all?”

“If she did, d'you think I'd be humping your leg every night?” Cosima asked wryly, then immediately flinched when Delphine pulled her hand away. “Bad joke, I'm sorry. That was.. stupid. Even if Sarah did know, I couldn't leave you for her. She's in love with Cal...”

“And.. if she didn't?” Delphine asked hesitantly.

“Didn't love Cal?” Cosima asked, bitterness unconsciously entering her tone. Delphine nodded minutely. “I dunno,” Cosima continued with a heavy sigh, “I do love you Delphine. I just.. it's stupid and I hate it but.. sometimes.. sometimes you're not enough.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah can't hide the fact that she'd rather be a family with Cosima than with Cal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of 365.
> 
> Prompt: Unrequited Love (Part 2: from Sarah's POV)

Sarah regretted asking Cosima and Delphine if they wanted to join her, Cal and Kira at the park. She thought it would be nice, getting outside, especially since Cosima hadn't really been outside in weeks, and likewise thought it would be a nice gesture to extend the invitation along to Delphine. The French woman was smart, saying that she couldn't possibly intrude on the family time, but Sarah wanted Cosima to know that Delphine was welcome at any time.

It was the least that Sarah could do. Since, you know, Cosima loved Delphine and all.

But, half an hour into watching Kira slide down slides and taking turns pushing her on the swing with Cal, Sarah became quite aware to the exact reason why she didn't want Delphine around. Not because she was dangerous, or that her loyalties still resided with DYAD, but because-

“Delphine and Cosima sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-” Kira started to chant with a giggle as she spied the aforementioned couple sitting, not in a tree, but on a bench. And, true enough-

“Kira,” Cal scolded lightly, shaking his head at the girl as he went in front of the swing set and held his hands up for Kira to kick on the way up. “It's not nice to draw attention to something private.”

Sarah had been resolutely ignoring both the exchange and the subject of the exchange. Because she loved Cal. And, more importantly, she loved Kira. And Kira loved her dad. So she wasn't gonna be ruining any of their little family dynamic just for some stupid crush.

“Mommy!” she heard Kira complain high above her. “Can you stop pushing? I want down.”

“Oh,” Sarah laughed a little, shaking her head to clear the jealousy. Unfortunately, the image of Delphine and Cosima together that she caught with an earlier quick glance remained burned into her brain. “Sorry about that monkey!”

“Guess you were a little distracted, huh?” Cal drew closer to the side of the swing where Sarah was as Kira slowed herself down.

“Why, what would I be distracted with? I was just thinking,” Sarah shrugged, trying, and failing, an easy grin.

“Thinking about how you wish you didn't invite Delphine along?” Cal asked shrewdly, glancing over at the couple on the bench, who had finally broken apart for air. And for a tug on Cosima's sleeve. “No tact, that one,” Cal laughed as he watched Cosima address Kira. “She gets it from you, I think.”

“Bullshit,” Sarah laughed as well, whacking him on the arm.

“You know I'm right,” he said, catching her arm and pulling her close, his other hand settling around her waist. The moment slowed, and Sarah let herself fall into the warmth he provided. Let herself glance at his lips and make the first move. Let herself shut her eyes and enjoy the moment. _Try_ and enjoy the moment, at least.

“Uh, hey? Sarah?”

Sarah jerked in Cal's embrace, eyes flying open and heart thumping wildly. _Why_ the hell Cosima's mere _voice_ affected her more than Cal's lips on hers did, Sarah had no clue. She coughed, rolled her eyes inwardly at herself and convinced herself that she wasn't going to get the one she wanted this time. “Yeah Cos?” she said, glowing with a small amount of pride at how casual she sounded.

“Kira wants to me and Delphine to take her around the park and tell her about the different plants and trees and stuff. Is that, uh, is that okay?” Cosima gestured to Delphine with her free hand – Kira was clinging to her other one.

Sarah glanced at Delphine, who was hanging back behind the aunt and daughter duo, her expression a dead give away that she was the odd woman out. Sarah sighed, lifting her hand to Cal's chest and resting it there. Like she was comfortable. Like she didn't care. “Of course, yeah. She can't turn out like me, now can she?” Sarah plastered on a grin, growing a little more genuine at Kira's excited shout, and watch Cosima turn back to Delphine and interlock their fingers as they walked away.

When they were out of earshot, Cal stepped back from the embrace and led her back to the swings. They were child-sized, which suited Sarah almost perfectly, but Cal looked more than a little uncomfortable. Sarah laughed at the image he presented, eliciting a grin from him that soon faded as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I see the way you look at her, Sarah,” he said softly, his calloused fingers tapping a nonsensical rhythm against the chain links of the swing. “You love her.”

Sarah's breath caught in her throat. Before seeing a way out. “Kira? You're a bloody idiot sometimes, y'know that Cal? 'Course I love her.”

“And you're a stupid tit, Sarah Manning,” Cal responded, mocking her accent, reaching out to yank on her chain, sending her zigzagging. “You know who I'm talking about.”

“No, I bloody _don't,”_ Sarah snapped as she dragged her toes in the sand to correct her course. “ Delphine's still probably a bloody _spy_ and Cosima-” Sarah cut herself off, the name catching in her throat. _God, she couldn't even_ say _her stupid name without falling i_ _n l-_

“I can see it on your face, Sarah. Hell, _everyone_ can probably see it,” he said, shrugging expansively.

“Everyone except Cosima, y'mean,” Sarah muttered. Before abruptly realizing that she had said those words _out loud_ and dug her heels into the sand, abruptly halting her momentum.

“Sarah! Sarah, would you just – wait?!” Cal called after her. Sarah hadn't even been aware that she had moved away in the first place. “C'mon, stop – stop running, okay? Just for one minute?”

“M'not-” Sarah started with a huff, stomping to a frustrated stop, turning and folding her arms. Found him standing within inches of her.

“Sure you're not. Because we're not halfway across the park right now,” Cal sighed, tangling his hand in his hair in exasperation. “Why are you acting so-”

“Acting so what, Cal?” Sarah asked, shoving her face into his, stepping into his bubble. But it felt nothing like her arguments with Cosima. The heat was the same but the passion wasn't. And she hated that it wasn't.

He studied her eyes, as if he were reading her thoughts. Then he raised his hands in surrender, took a step back. “Alright, I get it. I should go.”

Sarah wished she could tell him otherwise. Wished she could tell him that he didn't have to go, that he could stay. That she needed him and even that she wanted him but she just sighed, standing on her tippy-toes to give him a hug.

He lifted her off her feet slightly and said in her ear, “Tell Kira I'll be around tomorrow sometime to hang out, okay?”

“Sure thing,” she said quietly after her feet found solid ground.

“Take care,” he said with an easy grin, a grin she should have loved, and walked away. Sarah tipped her head with a tight smile and looked into the distance where Delphine and Cosima and Kira were kneeling in a tight little group around some kind of plant looking every bit like a picture perfect family.


End file.
